Sunday, June 14, 2009

how we change?

"Change is the only constant in life"-I never realised how true this statement was when i read it the first time. Just going back the last 12 years in my life, i am surprised at how much I changed; or have I ? - there are still certain instances when I suspect that!

Where do I start from ? OK let me start with my high school; though I had done my entire schooling in coed environment , I never had a decent conversation with any of my class girls. i think it was basically because I was shy and introvert by nature and it was considered a virtue not to be talking with members of other sex. Surprisingly , though I went to a medical college with the most healthy sex ratio ( 60 girls to 40 guys), I don't think I changed much. My inability to converse / ability to avoid conversations only kept improving ( if I can call it so) . Having a set of friends who more or less had similar thoughts/ behaviour did not help much either- and we even got a name for that.I did not realise it was wrong then too , as it was never an intention to avoid being courteous. But there could have been people , who thought we were dumb / uncourteous - especially our unit mates- as the rest of the units were very social. Anyways , we wanted to focus on what we went to the college for and moreover , we always ( four of us) had a great time amongst us , that we never missed anything!! And primary reason was that I never wanted to be linked to anyone!( that was the commonest way, someone could have a dig at their batchmates- i somehow took that very seriously then - but now it seems so funny!! ) Recently too a couple of unit mates said , they never felt like they could ever strike a decent conversation with any of us- this was what they said on face now- don't want to think about the adjectives they would have used then. Things improved a bit as internship progressed, we would have some duty related talk; and you know what- a lot of times it ended in altercation. And one of my unit mates had cried once during the internship - she had even complained to her mom about us- and even after two years when we had a rendezvous on the net , she was pretty correct in calling the relation we shared was more like"tom and Jerry". But i begged to differ as there was no real resentful feeling / physical hurt as in the cartoon. And finally when the internship ended and we all parted ways , probably to never meet again, we never had any grudge against anyone

I still don't know when and why , i felt and wanted to become more friendly with my batch mates. Probably things changed after I got into a good residency and settled down- I had less pressure to do things and was able to concentrate on social part of life- don't just come to a conclusion that I just became a party animal and had a great life in the 'land of booze'( what else would I call Pondicherry, where u don't get to see a stretch of ten shops without a bright lit wine shop). I still did not change much there as I have just one good female friend from three years there . And may be the culture at my post graduate institute also helped me in thawing a bit of shell and i think its there I became a bit comfortable with my old friends

Down ten years , I think anyway my life has come a small circle at least (not the full circle as they usually say!) .I am quite friends with the lady who called our relation - tom and Jerryish( still i need to ask her clear the air about who was what) . And a girl from a distant unit ( yeah A batch is far from E batch) - who probably might not have seen even my face properly during the five short years( I never felt it was long) , is on the way to becoming my best friend of the opposite gender. And I have talked to a lot of friends during the last couple of years , more than ever I talked to them during the entire six years. The last reason could be the most important - may be my profession has given me the ability to view life in a better perspective

And one thing I remember from the whole of my first year in the medical school happened on the day I joined - Its what an anatomy professor told me ,as I was a little unsure about continuing the course after paying the fees- apart from the usual "medicine is a great profession", that this is the "only place where you will get friends for life"

I don't know if that had a bearing on me at that time , it seems to be one of the standout lines , I heard and I am finding it true. And I now know i have changed for the better in my relations with my batch mates and hope this change remains a constant throughout!!



No comments: