passing the pandemonium

I have still not crossed the school age considering my disinclination to rise up in the morning with vigour to rush up to work. It’s not just my laziness but also the reluctance to be part of the pandemonium that I come across on the roads on my short travels forth and back home. Even having the scooterette - the best possible two wheeler for the laziest people who want to avoid the hassles of using their legs and feet while riding - does not help me much

On some unfortunate days the chaos start even before I pass the first 500 meters, in the form of form of buffaloes that amble across the road in such a way that no one would escape their swishing dirty tails. One needs at least one tenth of the maneuverability that Catherine Zeta Jones showed in the movie ‘Entrapment’ to pass through the security system for a heist. I have so far been good enough to avoid the tail marks and hope it stays so!

Just next on entry into the main roads would be a score of women trying to pack their kids into all sorts of vehicles (autos, maruti omnis, sumos, maxi cabs, and buses) to the school. I just can’t fathom how they chose the triangular junction that was already congested and unsafe. Who would have the courage to advise a woman, leave alone a group of them, with some of them in a real hurry. So I just mutter to myself and just move on

Traveling further you see another set of moms with young kids, who have chosen to walk their way to schools with kids on the danger side of the road!! I just can’t understand how the ever protective mothers could do such a thing. Kids, being kids could just stray into the road, putting themselves in grave risk. I suppose it’s probably to do with the fact that most of us are right handers and we feel we have a better grip with the right hand and hence hold the kid with the right hand, putting the kids towards the danger side. I am sure, in this situation, left hand would do a great job

The next inexcusable trouble mongers are those morons who talk on the phone while riding a bike or even worser, text on the move. And none of them who do so, seem like they would be losing millions if they dint pick that call or push that sms!! I see them as real losers who never see the bigger picture – they are keeping their lives on the line (they shall do so if it’s their choice to lose limb / life), apart from endangering all other people on the road. I get so enraged by these imbeciles that if I have the law enforcing power or some super power, I would slap them hard, confiscate that handset and throw it in the nearest drain.

The chaos gets escalated as one moves into the bottleneck that leads to the railway gate (thanks to the blatant encroachment about which no official has yet cared). In that bottle neck are stationed the autos who use all their rough skills to move the vehicles in the manner only to frighten and if possible hurt the fellow road users. I think they will understand what they are doing only if they are put through the pain that accidents can cause.

Then is the biggest of the violations. One of the railways gate allows the two wheelers to pass through the gaps on either side of the closed gates / under them. Though it could look like a gross violation, actually they are doing it a s it is the only possible way to unclog the road in between the short time when the gates are open. It has been going on for a long time; its only now that the Railways has started a subway construction, which could take about five years, knowing our Indian standards. The main issue is that, our people being our own selves, try to get through four two wheelers through the gap when there is just enough space for two. But as a community, when have we had the decency to wait in a queue?

If you thought you will just rush through a reasonably regulated GST road , there are at least five / six guys along the one kilometer starch , who just jump across the tall median a la Tarzan so unexpectedly that , they could be hurt or if not the one who avoided them be hurt. And seriously people got to be educated about the risks

Apart from these unpleasant ones are the pleasant distractions like bright good ads, scores of PYTs (if I can borrow from the page 3 literature on the road. Though pleasant, am sure these would cause the same damage as the other unpleasant ones!!

And all these make it impossible for me to ride the easiest bike for not more than fifteen minutes. Hope people become more sensible on the road or the authorities who regulate the traffic on the road or the ones who issue the driving licenses with alarming ease, as soon as their palms are greased!