not me for sure!

Life keeps throwing surprises at everyone, many a time, some of them bordering on the shock varieties! I had a recent one when my dad gave me the license to find and marry a girl of my choice. Though if I see the reason behind it, it is understandable- that they have not been able to find a reasonable match for me in spite of earnest search for more than a year!

But their taunt to me , that I should get a match for myself got me thinking about the certain qualities which are not dispensable if one has to fall in love on their own. Most important appeared to be the physical features, as that is the first thing that registers on the brain. I don’t think love happens unless the eyes and consequently, the brain have a liking! I think that is the only factor associated with the clichéd “love at first sight”. But I have also seen quite a few exceptions – handsome guys as well as beautiful girls selecting partners not quite their match on the physical attributes. Hence, maybe not all the relationships survive on acceptability of physical attributes- I could just make it on this exception. Next probably is the way they talk, more so in an impressive way- flattery forming a major part of it! And the need to keep persisting in spite of apparent disinterest by the other person (it could be a test for the sincerity). Beginning the talk itself is a difficult task as I am one who has taken what my mom told me ever since I was a kid- “Don’t talk to strangers “. Probably that’s the reason in spite of my new found net addiction; I am yet to talk to a stranger on the net- I have not talked to anyone other than my old class mates.

If at all there is someone who is interested, one needs at least a spurt of boldness to proceed!- Which is definitely not possible for someone who is a mind ruler instead of a heart ruler- mind rulers being the ones who seriously weight the pros and cons of anything , however trivial! And once you think a matter too much of a thing; you mostly tend to look at the negatives- hence love is definitely anathema for mind rulers; its only for the heart rulers- hence I can be safely counted out as I am a mind ruler – that too a medico brain that is used to take only scientific things given in the western literature!!

And there needs to be a lot a lot of lies among the partners as well as their parents ; I have not seen any lovers being open about their relations right from the beginning; as most parents would use their logic and their mind ruling tendency to look for negatives alone! (It’s a truth that with age, people become mind rulers even if they were otherwise in their younger years). So revealing the relationship in the early stages is a strict no!!! I have had a recent experience with my best buddy who hid his affair from me, though I have revealed a lot of things about myself , more than to even my parents , in certain situations . I can be counted out on this account also, as I have hidden very little from my parents

Lavish spending of time and money is another big variable (sorry, constant) as I have seen a few friends struggle to do that. I am weak on that account too as I am a bit of a workaholic (am spending 15 hours outside home – that my own home appears new to me when I take a day off and I don’t remember when I last watched prime time TV and the booming tamil voices on the tamil news and the music channel VJs affected by “giggle o mania”!!). I am also a guy who has not still forgotten the frugality associated with a middle class upbringing, how much ever I / others wish to chase it off!!! And even if I would like to become a spender on non essential things( at least according to me), my “mind ruler” state gets activated and censures me!!

A very important factor is the ability to trust your own choice and take responsibility for your own choices. Being one who does not like taking big responsibilities is a definite blow for finding one’s own match!

There could be a lot of other variables, which could have missed my eyes (CRT and LCD screen damaged ones- its common belief that software engineers are ones who strain their eyes most for a living – I beg my pardon and say with assurance that their strain is not a patch on the radiologists‘ pair ). But even these few above factors are more than enough to freeze me from embarking on any futile searches! How much ever my people taunt me, I don’t have any intentions of changing; I would rather leave the responsibility to them, than face any problems because of my own choice!! And I also believe they are just having a little fun, being sure I will never do anything!

Readers are free to express the other factors that I have missed mentioning, if they get reading this far!!