how we change?

"Change is the only constant in life"-I never realised how true this statement was when i read it the first time. Just going back the last 12 years in my life, i am surprised at how much I changed; or have I ? - there are still certain instances when I suspect that!

Where do I start from ? OK let me start with my high school; though I had done my entire schooling in coed environment , I never had a decent conversation with any of my class girls. i think it was basically because I was shy and introvert by nature and it was considered a virtue not to be talking with members of other sex. Surprisingly , though I went to a medical college with the most healthy sex ratio ( 60 girls to 40 guys), I don't think I changed much. My inability to converse / ability to avoid conversations only kept improving ( if I can call it so) . Having a set of friends who more or less had similar thoughts/ behaviour did not help much either- and we even got a name for that.I did not realise it was wrong then too , as it was never an intention to avoid being courteous. But there could have been people , who thought we were dumb / uncourteous - especially our unit mates- as the rest of the units were very social. Anyways , we wanted to focus on what we went to the college for and moreover , we always ( four of us) had a great time amongst us , that we never missed anything!! And primary reason was that I never wanted to be linked to anyone!( that was the commonest way, someone could have a dig at their batchmates- i somehow took that very seriously then - but now it seems so funny!! ) Recently too a couple of unit mates said , they never felt like they could ever strike a decent conversation with any of us- this was what they said on face now- don't want to think about the adjectives they would have used then. Things improved a bit as internship progressed, we would have some duty related talk; and you know what- a lot of times it ended in altercation. And one of my unit mates had cried once during the internship - she had even complained to her mom about us- and even after two years when we had a rendezvous on the net , she was pretty correct in calling the relation we shared was more like"tom and Jerry". But i begged to differ as there was no real resentful feeling / physical hurt as in the cartoon. And finally when the internship ended and we all parted ways , probably to never meet again, we never had any grudge against anyone

I still don't know when and why , i felt and wanted to become more friendly with my batch mates. Probably things changed after I got into a good residency and settled down- I had less pressure to do things and was able to concentrate on social part of life- don't just come to a conclusion that I just became a party animal and had a great life in the 'land of booze'( what else would I call Pondicherry, where u don't get to see a stretch of ten shops without a bright lit wine shop). I still did not change much there as I have just one good female friend from three years there . And may be the culture at my post graduate institute also helped me in thawing a bit of shell and i think its there I became a bit comfortable with my old friends

Down ten years , I think anyway my life has come a small circle at least (not the full circle as they usually say!) .I am quite friends with the lady who called our relation - tom and Jerryish( still i need to ask her clear the air about who was what) . And a girl from a distant unit ( yeah A batch is far from E batch) - who probably might not have seen even my face properly during the five short years( I never felt it was long) , is on the way to becoming my best friend of the opposite gender. And I have talked to a lot of friends during the last couple of years , more than ever I talked to them during the entire six years. The last reason could be the most important - may be my profession has given me the ability to view life in a better perspective

And one thing I remember from the whole of my first year in the medical school happened on the day I joined - Its what an anatomy professor told me ,as I was a little unsure about continuing the course after paying the fees- apart from the usual "medicine is a great profession", that this is the "only place where you will get friends for life"

I don't know if that had a bearing on me at that time , it seems to be one of the standout lines , I heard and I am finding it true. And I now know i have changed for the better in my relations with my batch mates and hope this change remains a constant throughout!!

them again!!

Sorry about my dog fixation that u guys think i have; ( sorry , it should have been singular , for there has been a solitary victim- my friend -for this blog ,so far)  but it actually is the phobia about them and their involvement in my life that makes me keep poking at them again. hope the PETA guys dont take a serious view of my anti dog blogs  and come home and do something nasty as they always they do with alarming frequency (yeah ! i mean the public stripping/ exhibitionism they indulge in to advance their pro animal ideas  - i wonder how on earth is their baring all , help animals)

As i had already mentioned in my previous blog, there was another dog phobic neighbour , who carried a metre long stick on his scooter to ward off his canine enemies on the way. But one fine day, there was a sudden turnaround for us all to see; in that he had brought home a stray dog to bring up as his pet. If that was difficult for us to believe, he not only brought him up as a pet; he started treating him as a son ( inspite of having three grown up adult children- whom he tended to as a mom would do- as his wife is one person , whom i have never seen do any household chores).  The days when he - tommy , i guess was his name- was bathed would be  a special show for all of us. The excited dog would run the entire street and try to chase down any stray dog in its sight; pulling his master along. And after they manage to rein him in , he would be given a big red tilak on his forehead;bigger than  the ones temple bound  ladies have on a friday. I regret not having a digicam at that time  to record that.

But our problem was not with his make up / dressing sense; but with the fact that he was barking at every passing four legged sructure from the portico of their first floor house. the location being to reinforce the fact athat there was no way he could be affected by those creatures. But his master was so protective of his son ( we all thought he treated him like one- such was his public show of affection) and stones will keep flowing from the first floor balcony every time tom would bark, for whatever reason!! And we , my dad and I ,have been at the receiving end of a couple of stones- which flew close to our unprotected heads like a Brett Lee beamer!!. We have got mad those moments thinking how people behave so foolishly giving more importance to pets than  humans. I even had a thought of returning the beamer bowled, but the fact that i was a doctor and had to behave within the norms , prevented me from returning the rubbish act

The second issue with tommy was even dirtier; everytime his master brought him out to lhelp him relieve himself , he would unfailingly choose our compond pillar for a shower. I am sure this is a nasty thing about the dog owners; they never let their pets do it to their  compounds!! Tommy was not an isolated case in this, as there were a couple of other DOs who would let their dogs answer their nature's calls , in  front of our house- thereby being the receivers of the first round of swearing from my father- he had a right point there because no one likes to step out of their house into s--t.! 

Fortunately there was no face to face altercations with our neighbours just for the fact that they were our neighbours , but as dog owners they need to show a lot of sensitivity to humans. I am also sure that PETA guys should devote atleast a percent to educate the pet owners to be more responsible than keep cribbing about impractical things ( which would definitely alter the eco balance) and doing strip shows ( which are definitely not going to change anyone!!- may be people will keep doing things to see them do their dirty act!!)

That our neighbor was so affected by tommy' s death , made him not to go for another dog and that saved our heads from his throws!! Hope he never gets another dog for his life ; but now there' s another neighbour who has set some 10 -12 felines on the prowl in the streets ; Oh god when are these guys goin to  change?!!

jo(C)ke(Y)rs

This gap of a few days has been to provide some respite to the only follwer of this blog ( my dear friend ) from my vocabulary assault. Other reason being that my sulci and gyri damaged by medical and radiology literature, however less, does not have the same ability to think and write as other fresh creative brains

It is very common to see lots of people who travel by trains these days , with ear phones, listening to music on their way to/ from work. There are some people who might even forget their wallets but not their mobiles / earphones. Most of them, sure are listening to the multiple FM radios broadcasting in chennai, though there are some smart ones who know what they want to hear and listen to the songs in their own memory card

But whats being played in those stations need to be heard to know , what extent the human brains can go in search for something they think of as entertainment.There are lots of progarms and presentation that are very stereotypical with not much of relief, with the worst reserved especially for the afternoons and the evenings! Mornings are a lot better with devotional songs to start with and news based info to save the peak mormning hours till 10. even the forenoon programs are OK; being primarily women centered. Real trouble for us starts in the afternoon, when you have got the most ingenious of the pack , who can motor mouth for a long time about nothing. That breed can keep talking under the sun , however silly that is. Most funny are the questions that are asked for the listeners who have to phone in to answer them/ register their views. Questions and topics could range from , funny to ridiculous to absurd; samples being like " what will happen if monday comes before sunday"; discussing pet names that you have for your spouses/ personal secrets that none other than the couple would ever know;"whats the best place to propose". What surprises me more is that there is never a dearth of callers for even the worst possible question , which makes me ponder if the callers are all in house employees of the FM stations . If they speak so sweetly and with such joy to their spouse / kids/ relatives , I cant stop wondering how peaceful the families will be. I am not sure what gives them great joy- hearing their voices on air or talking to the hosts.

Less said about the contests that run on air , the better; it never tests anything other than luck . I am not sure if all those contests are real at all!! And the new menace that has been born in the last few months has been that of CJ (not the glamorous girlfriend of Billa in the movie by the same name) - its what they call as cricket jockey. This breed was born during the IPL, when two guys kept some nonsense going in the form of commentary; yet i did not have another choice to keep track of the scores while on my way back home. Otherwise nights are the best time to put your ear phones on, when all the stations play ilayaraja songs ( and others of that period ) - thats the time also when words are less and music is more

However , i dont have a choice other than to push my ear phones into the slot , when on the move , atleast for the beautiful songs that keep playing and for some of the really interesting and useful programmes(remember, i am not saying everything is bad) .

Hope ther are lots of useful and interesting programmes sans the cliched rubbish chats, with a great mix of music; then i am sure at least half of chennai would be hard of hearing ( FM radio induced), in a few years time, making it a great opportunity for the otorhinolaryngologists(this is nothing but an ENT specialist). See , i told u know , medical literature really taxes your brain unnecessarily with such big words for simple things. So i request the readers (?) of this blog to excuse my medical litt injured brain, if they felt stupid reading this!!

Do they own the roads?

This is the question that rings in my mind and probably most others who use the roads, both in the cities and suburbs, especially in the nights . What  do you think  i am talking about- thieves,  totally drunk kudi magans  , speeding  cars , formless/ gory  ghosts . though all these are potentially fearsome , there is  something else that's a more common frightener for me

 

Sure , u will find it difficult to identify if you have not been on the roads especially after ten on the roads. It is the one touted the man' s best friend , a lot of times- but i  beg to differ about that (as i always  have). Yeah i am talking about the dogs ( but they look like jackals on the prowl during  the night).  Being animal phobic has not helped me any better

 

Am not even as worried to cross the unsignalled main roads in the city at eleven/ travelling in poorly inhabited night trains , as I am about travelling the last 2 kilometres from the the station to my home. the couple of kilometres is mostly a main road with a lot of side roads along it . that distance is inhabited by at least a dozen packs of stray dogs. They come in various hues from the dark black  to white with brown and cream too , but it  does not matter as their bites would leave not so dissimilar marks with morbid and mortal complications.

The problem with them is that you never know when you will be attacked by them. You never take them for granted  even if they appear to be enjoying their sleep ; they could just pounce on you thinking you could run them over. Worst possible scenarios are your crossing their routes when they are in the middle of their territorial fight or an orgy ( which primarily is the cause for their burgeoning numbers - Blue  cross ! are you listening). You are definitely bound to suffer collateral damage ; when you happen to be in the middle of their quarrel.Your escape depends on how your adrenaline acts  to produce  fright / flight / fight response, anyways all three of them are going to get you some wounds if they are in a bad mood. My advice is not to try the flight response;because its tough to evade their teeth  unless you do  an Usain Bolt ( that should be enough unless  you you have another hungry pack in the next territory). Remember the world's fastest man Usain Bolt is at least 50 to 100% faster than  humans with subnormal sedentary lives as yours truly. Fighting is not a good option unless you have a weapon ( at least 3-4 stones / two feet stick).I have seen a neighbour carrying a three feet stick in his scooter for his canine enemies ( that he got a pet dog himself and treated him like his son is  a different matter altogether.  but my dad still maintains a good shout is more than enough most of the times and he says he uses it prophylactically even  before crossing. I too have done that a couple of times , but it has been shouts of fear than frightener!!

And one other unnerving memory would be the way they chase the hapless hen and pigs during the days. There have been instances when I have just avoided head on collisions with them at corner of the streets when they blindly charge during their fights. And lastly about the one blackie that always sits on the compound wall of a house. I don’t pass the route every day without the fear of it pawing and scratching my face

But still I go through the route as I don’t have a choice, praying nothing happens. To part with I am sure , the government should do something to alleviate the stray dog menace!! Otherwise lots of people will have similar thoughts as mine “Do they own the roads? “. Hope and pray the Blue Cross guys behave much more responsibly and treat humans, at least as equals to the animals and not take cudgels against what needs to be done.

wait.....

Wait......

It all begins with your

parents' wait for your arrival

their wait for the joy that

you and your pranks alone can give

Their wait for your first day at school

your returning home in the evenings

their wait for your becoming a grown up

then comes your waits in life

Your morning wait for the newspaper,

coffee, breakfast, lunchpack

your wait for the bus/ train , for the start of

classes , end of it and the lunch

These apart are your innumerable 

waits at the cinemas, hotels and temples

and the most thrilling wait for anyone-

that for exam results and college admission

Followed by that for your first day at the college

the semester exams and finally the convocation

followed by the most trying wait- that for a job

then the wait for your spouse and then your kids

And the cycle goes on and on

finally the eternal wait for the end

the most fascinating lesson that is never learnt is- that

Only we wait for the event  and

Time never waits for us!!!

This was an attempt at a poem , a long way back , for the college magazine

and it got published !!!(as the last content  in the english section - guess they did it because 

thay had to no other way to fill in the pages!!)

why i never went elsewhere

Had long self deliberations when I finished my class XII and had both engineering and medicine seats on offer in top institutes.

I was 12 years younger; so guess my brain should have been in a better shape undamaged by all these medical literature

One of the reasons I dint take up engg was that I dint want to entertain any thoughts of going away from my parents (I was not even ready to move to a hostel!) apart from the fact that I dint have any aptitude for engineering

By joining medicine, I banished any chances of me moving far from my parents as early as within 4- 5 years( that was the time  everyone was going onsite  as if it was boarding an EMU to Beach)

The primary reason of not wanting to move away from my parents was the issue of being near them, when they need you- I know a lot of parents who are proud to say that their kids are doing great abroad. Their kids earn well , send them money , buy property in posh locales, call them daily , pamper them in all all ways staying away, but when you  get the parents  to talk freely , u will definitely get the answer that most of them would prefer them to be here with them and that they miss something inspite of having a lot . I never wanted to put my parents in that position

About six years as medical undergraduate and intern meant I was not moving anywhere for that period. And I also had a false impression that life would be a bed of roses after MBBS. But that soon became a mirage seeing the need for PG

Even in UG period there were a few temptations like PLAB and USMLE.

I am sure even then I was not swaying towards that thought due to my primary reason apart from those choices needing quite an investment then. Anyway I had the confidence in me and God (more on Him) that I will get a good PG course. And luckily he gave me a good speciality where I will be able to earn decent early as well as stay in the city with my parents. Now I don’t have any regrets for not having gone out so far

Serious reasons apart ,others are

Never comfortable with the idea of missing home food ( if you look at my weight for height , you will know) and for the fact that  I should be having one of the most fragile gastric mucosa- it cant take tea for two days together- so no obvious interest in trying out new cuisines or so

Cant bear the cold climes I guess- I shriver at 18  degrees in an AC room- am more at home in the furnace that’s Chennai( hope I am not hypothyroid)

Don’t need a lot of money, as I never learnt the habit of spending and shameful fact being that my spending pattern has not changed between the dependent days and now. but one thing is definite - more money is more pain

Traveling far is a dream that I have a few times; but its stayed a dream because once I need to implement that dream, I become the laziest guy on earth – I actually prefer to travel virtually!!!- seeing on TV and net and transferring myself there!!

Challenges - those are things that are best enjoyed on the TV- i like to keep my life simple, uncomplicated

Silly fears  being - not wanting to die falling from  a plane; not wanting to die in another country; not getting caught by the law of the land(foreign)- as shown in a lot of movies; going without food / getting sick there; not wanting to be at the brunt of racist attacks

Anyways most people  go outside country  to earn a lot; some to train ; some to enjoy life; some for the sake of it; some because they cannot do anything here

None of the reasons above inspire me to do the same as i am double sure that i wil have the best life here simple, uncomplicated- i dont need anything more , anything less

May be its too mediocre to think so ; but everyone's got to live on their own terms . I dont hold anything who go searching for greener pastures

I surely believe akkaraikku ikkarai pachhai (not ikkaraikku akkaraikku pachhai)

This had to be a reply by mail to a friend who asked me the question yesterday ; but its become a blog ( still she will  be only victim to read this)

street smart

Is that a fitting term for the indian  voter? i guess so, seeing the way the average indian citizens have turned in a mandate! this was a most unexcepected verdict for most people. what many thought was that congress would just gain a slender lead and would have to deal with the poltical backmailers to survive for as long as possible before plunging the country into another election.i suppose congress itself was not too far from the opinion. Though the regional powerhouses ( thats what they thought of themselves before 16 .09.09) were of the opininon each one of them would be a king/ queen or a kingmaker.  The right wing ( called so despite most of their ideologies being wrong) was assuming that it was their turn to return to might and the left ( are they called so because their motto is to see everything  good left the country ) pining hopes on india's poor to have another shot at  run(i)ning the country without responsibility.

How did the large number of people of such a diverse country give an  unexpected opinion that surprised most psephologists. My common man brain sees two patterns in these - the voters have rejected the political opportunists of the first degree , blackmailers and the most ungrateful ministers( read bihari babus, china's partners in india  and the most health conscious minister). The second one being approving those who had worked towards development and who took steps to keep their poll promises( not letting them being just promises) - read bihar, gujarat , delhi and tamil nadu

The people have supposedly chosen the least toxic option available on view at present inspite of quite a few blips from the government.The way the people have rejected means  they  still believe their country is secular and hope it stays so. the Left's been red carded for showing 

red flag to everything good. People are wary of the regional powerhouses , especially the two ladies , one each in the in the north and south , who have a penchant for obnoxious display of wealth , unattainable by fair means. probably people thought what would remain 

in the country if they wielded their wands for some time.

Now its upto the parties to show the people that they have not made a wrong choice. Their re election , has had to with the opponents mistakes as much as their right choices. Now that they have a reasonable mandate , people expect them to behave responsibly and be as 

humble as they were/ are when they go garnering votes; hope they dont forget their promises and indulge in self sustenance. I hope they dont mess themselves giving berths to criminally tainted persons; but choose efficient persons with integrity(Mr. Shashi Tharoor- to name one)

and utilise their services.

Anyways i am happy that i dont have to vote for a central government for another five years; happy considering that its a very costly affair-take this sample, air turbine fuel cost for the netas election campaigns have been ~! 5 crores- for a country that  is still not able to help a lot of people going to bed( sorry lying on the floor) with hungry stomachs.

If the new government is able to buck the anti incumbency based on its good work, after another five years i am sure the country would have done well providing inclusive growth.Whatever the government does , I am sure that the street smart indian voter will use his common sense to right the wrongs, as needed!