passing the pandemonium

I have still not crossed the school age considering my disinclination to rise up in the morning with vigour to rush up to work. It’s not just my laziness but also the reluctance to be part of the pandemonium that I come across on the roads on my short travels forth and back home. Even having the scooterette - the best possible two wheeler for the laziest people who want to avoid the hassles of using their legs and feet while riding - does not help me much

On some unfortunate days the chaos start even before I pass the first 500 meters, in the form of form of buffaloes that amble across the road in such a way that no one would escape their swishing dirty tails. One needs at least one tenth of the maneuverability that Catherine Zeta Jones showed in the movie ‘Entrapment’ to pass through the security system for a heist. I have so far been good enough to avoid the tail marks and hope it stays so!

Just next on entry into the main roads would be a score of women trying to pack their kids into all sorts of vehicles (autos, maruti omnis, sumos, maxi cabs, and buses) to the school. I just can’t fathom how they chose the triangular junction that was already congested and unsafe. Who would have the courage to advise a woman, leave alone a group of them, with some of them in a real hurry. So I just mutter to myself and just move on

Traveling further you see another set of moms with young kids, who have chosen to walk their way to schools with kids on the danger side of the road!! I just can’t understand how the ever protective mothers could do such a thing. Kids, being kids could just stray into the road, putting themselves in grave risk. I suppose it’s probably to do with the fact that most of us are right handers and we feel we have a better grip with the right hand and hence hold the kid with the right hand, putting the kids towards the danger side. I am sure, in this situation, left hand would do a great job

The next inexcusable trouble mongers are those morons who talk on the phone while riding a bike or even worser, text on the move. And none of them who do so, seem like they would be losing millions if they dint pick that call or push that sms!! I see them as real losers who never see the bigger picture – they are keeping their lives on the line (they shall do so if it’s their choice to lose limb / life), apart from endangering all other people on the road. I get so enraged by these imbeciles that if I have the law enforcing power or some super power, I would slap them hard, confiscate that handset and throw it in the nearest drain.

The chaos gets escalated as one moves into the bottleneck that leads to the railway gate (thanks to the blatant encroachment about which no official has yet cared). In that bottle neck are stationed the autos who use all their rough skills to move the vehicles in the manner only to frighten and if possible hurt the fellow road users. I think they will understand what they are doing only if they are put through the pain that accidents can cause.

Then is the biggest of the violations. One of the railways gate allows the two wheelers to pass through the gaps on either side of the closed gates / under them. Though it could look like a gross violation, actually they are doing it a s it is the only possible way to unclog the road in between the short time when the gates are open. It has been going on for a long time; its only now that the Railways has started a subway construction, which could take about five years, knowing our Indian standards. The main issue is that, our people being our own selves, try to get through four two wheelers through the gap when there is just enough space for two. But as a community, when have we had the decency to wait in a queue?

If you thought you will just rush through a reasonably regulated GST road , there are at least five / six guys along the one kilometer starch , who just jump across the tall median a la Tarzan so unexpectedly that , they could be hurt or if not the one who avoided them be hurt. And seriously people got to be educated about the risks

Apart from these unpleasant ones are the pleasant distractions like bright good ads, scores of PYTs (if I can borrow from the page 3 literature on the road. Though pleasant, am sure these would cause the same damage as the other unpleasant ones!!

And all these make it impossible for me to ride the easiest bike for not more than fifteen minutes. Hope people become more sensible on the road or the authorities who regulate the traffic on the road or the ones who issue the driving licenses with alarming ease, as soon as their palms are greased!

Hot under the collar?

Spending the whole week in anger and annoyance over a small work related issue, I thought it would be going through the few nice quotes I had collected on anger .

As I also could find nothing worthwhile to write about , I thought it would not be a wrong idea to put those quotes down here for the occasional stumbler to this page

I think anyone who reads these/ remembers these while getting hot under the collar , would understand that getting angry is a futile exrecise that only works towards hurting us!! See if you feel so!

Always write angry letters to your enemies. Never mail them.
James Fallows

For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Get mad, then get over it.
Colin Powell

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

Buddha

How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.
Marcus Aurelius

If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size?
Sydney J. Harris

Man should forget his anger before he lies down to sleep.
Mohandas Gandhi

No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched.

George Jean Nathan

One should not lose one's temper unless one is certain of getting more and more angry to the end.
William Butler Yeats

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. Ambrose Bierce

"Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools. “Albert Einstein

"Anger is never without a reason, but seldom with a good one." Benjamin Franklin

"Anger is only one letter short of danger"

"The angry people are those people who are most afraid" Dr. Robert Anthony

"Anyone can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person at the right time, and for the right purpose and in the right way - that is not within everyone's power and that is not easy." Aristotle

"Anger, if not restrained, is frequently more hurtful to us than the injury that provokes it" Seneca

"If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size?" Sydney J. Harris

"Anger is short-lived madness." Horace

"A fool vents all of his anger, but a wise man brings himself under control.

"When anger rises, think of the consequences." Confucius quotes

"The best answer to anger is silence."

My corollary after going through all these is - Never hold on to anger! Just let it go! It's like taking a fistful of dirt to slam on someone; you "might" be successful in throwing it on yor target , but you are "certainly " dirtying your hands in that process.

EASY WAY OUT

Though I have been curious about the usefulness and effects of yoga for a long time , ever since awareness was created about it through the media, I never had the willingness to learn or practice it. With increasing hearsay and personal experiences about the benefits of yoga , my mom saw an ad in a local circulation newspaper and asked me to attend Isha yoga classes in my locality.

I too had my last allowed leave of the month to take , so I thought I would have a look at what it is all about.

There was a big crowd for a six pm meet on a working day- which implied the popularity of yoga as well as the prevalence of unhappiness among people ! There was a young male yoga teacher who could hold the audience attention for close to about 80 minutes, (that was a great task, considering my usually poor attention span in the sub- minute region , even while reading for the exams) .Its surprising that he was successful in talking for that much time about taming minds , which I wonder , is ever possible . Most of the mental wandering today was to do with the physical strain-to be precise , my lower limbs that have forgotten sitting cross legged since its been more than a year since I sat that way ! I suppose its going to have an effect of doing 50 sit ups all of a sudden on one fine day!!

If that was not the proverbial last straw on the camel's back, they said one needed to spend three hours a day for a week , with full twelve hours on the intervening Sunday!! I thought fine , I would have to seek some other way to tame my mind!

Just logged on to the net to know more about the Isha yoga , only to find the following piece, which I thought would be the easier alternative to follow!! I thought I might copy and paste that here too so that , anyone stumbling inadvertently on to this blog ( yeah! how else would someone see this!!), could have the benefit of going through it

Tips for Better Life from ISHA YOGA


1. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Sleep for 7 hours.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did in 2007.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer. They provide us with
daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is
manufactured in plants.
11. Drink plenty of water.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
14. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her
mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
15. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead
invest your energy in the positive present moment.
16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are
simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class
but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
18. Smile and laugh more.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey
is all about. Don't compare your partner with others.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Forgive everyone for everything.
26.. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. GOD ! heals everything.
28. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
29. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will.
Stay in touch.
30. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
31. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
32. The best is yet to come.
33. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
34. Do the right thing!
35. Call your family often.
36. Your inner most is always happy. So be happy.
37. Each day give something good to others.
38. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
39. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.

not me for sure!

Life keeps throwing surprises at everyone, many a time, some of them bordering on the shock varieties! I had a recent one when my dad gave me the license to find and marry a girl of my choice. Though if I see the reason behind it, it is understandable- that they have not been able to find a reasonable match for me in spite of earnest search for more than a year!

But their taunt to me , that I should get a match for myself got me thinking about the certain qualities which are not dispensable if one has to fall in love on their own. Most important appeared to be the physical features, as that is the first thing that registers on the brain. I don’t think love happens unless the eyes and consequently, the brain have a liking! I think that is the only factor associated with the clichéd “love at first sight”. But I have also seen quite a few exceptions – handsome guys as well as beautiful girls selecting partners not quite their match on the physical attributes. Hence, maybe not all the relationships survive on acceptability of physical attributes- I could just make it on this exception. Next probably is the way they talk, more so in an impressive way- flattery forming a major part of it! And the need to keep persisting in spite of apparent disinterest by the other person (it could be a test for the sincerity). Beginning the talk itself is a difficult task as I am one who has taken what my mom told me ever since I was a kid- “Don’t talk to strangers “. Probably that’s the reason in spite of my new found net addiction; I am yet to talk to a stranger on the net- I have not talked to anyone other than my old class mates.

If at all there is someone who is interested, one needs at least a spurt of boldness to proceed!- Which is definitely not possible for someone who is a mind ruler instead of a heart ruler- mind rulers being the ones who seriously weight the pros and cons of anything , however trivial! And once you think a matter too much of a thing; you mostly tend to look at the negatives- hence love is definitely anathema for mind rulers; its only for the heart rulers- hence I can be safely counted out as I am a mind ruler – that too a medico brain that is used to take only scientific things given in the western literature!!

And there needs to be a lot a lot of lies among the partners as well as their parents ; I have not seen any lovers being open about their relations right from the beginning; as most parents would use their logic and their mind ruling tendency to look for negatives alone! (It’s a truth that with age, people become mind rulers even if they were otherwise in their younger years). So revealing the relationship in the early stages is a strict no!!! I have had a recent experience with my best buddy who hid his affair from me, though I have revealed a lot of things about myself , more than to even my parents , in certain situations . I can be counted out on this account also, as I have hidden very little from my parents

Lavish spending of time and money is another big variable (sorry, constant) as I have seen a few friends struggle to do that. I am weak on that account too as I am a bit of a workaholic (am spending 15 hours outside home – that my own home appears new to me when I take a day off and I don’t remember when I last watched prime time TV and the booming tamil voices on the tamil news and the music channel VJs affected by “giggle o mania”!!). I am also a guy who has not still forgotten the frugality associated with a middle class upbringing, how much ever I / others wish to chase it off!!! And even if I would like to become a spender on non essential things( at least according to me), my “mind ruler” state gets activated and censures me!!

A very important factor is the ability to trust your own choice and take responsibility for your own choices. Being one who does not like taking big responsibilities is a definite blow for finding one’s own match!

There could be a lot of other variables, which could have missed my eyes (CRT and LCD screen damaged ones- its common belief that software engineers are ones who strain their eyes most for a living – I beg my pardon and say with assurance that their strain is not a patch on the radiologists‘ pair ). But even these few above factors are more than enough to freeze me from embarking on any futile searches! How much ever my people taunt me, I don’t have any intentions of changing; I would rather leave the responsibility to them, than face any problems because of my own choice!! And I also believe they are just having a little fun, being sure I will never do anything!

Readers are free to express the other factors that I have missed mentioning, if they get reading this far!!

Grab thy seat !

This is not in relation to the scuffle and power used by politicians to get (sorry, grab) an opportunity to serve themselves (sorry, serve the nation). I don’t have the first hand experience to talk about that power grabbing. But what I have is a lot of familiarity with seat grabbing in the local public transport systems. Those taking the EMUs to work would definitely be aware of this and may have actually indulged in it unknowingly or knowingly (as in most of the cases)

Even those who get into the train/ buses from the terminals have to face the prospect of being a standee, courtesy some gentle guys who block the seats ( as with engineering / medical seats in private institutions)- but the only difference being the blocking being done with just ahandkerchief or a crumpled newspaper or an old bag. Just when you resign yourself to your own fate and stand in a relatively comfortable position, at least a couple of people try to move past you looking for a non existent seat. Those carrying big bags and trying to move in are a real menace , especially for the bespectacled guys.

You just wait curse your fate after the initial ruckus ; but the problem in EMUs is that the process keeps repeating itself every two to three minutes - leaving you flustered for the entire journey- lots of time , your efforts to even browse through your newspaper is difficult. just when you see a gentleman vacating a seat and ready yourself to make a move, someone who is two feet away could just grab the seat in "Jhonty Rhodes "que manner. and even if there's no one with such good reflexes to compete, the person already sitting in the opposite chair could relocate , looking for more comfort( especially the window seats; leaving his place for someone standing nearby- thereby playing a musical chair rather unintentionally!

On an unlucky day the game goes on and on and by the time you get seat , your destination arrives! That's when you can't help but think of Madhavan's last line in the movie -"evanooruvan"- just after he falls on to the window seat after the police encounter- "nalla naal la jannalseat kadaikkarathukulla uyire poidum"

And even if you have tolerated the frustration of having to stand the entire journey , trouble is not over still you set your foot outside. the exit is invariably blocked by the romeos travelling foot board vying for female attention( but chances being them getting the attention of LordYama is more) and the pig headed guys who don't care a s**t about others . Due to their obduracy in blocking the exits , I have been in the danger of having to go beyond my destination on many occasions; fortunately it has not happened so far and hope it never happens!!

These apart are the numerable inconveniences like hawkers / vendors trying to move their wares along even when there is no space to move , even for a rodent . Though you feel like complaining , something strikes you that after all its their livelihood and they are honest in trying earn their money.And most despicable moments are in seeing begging kids / young females with infants in their hands.

All these were really instrumental in me taking an afternoon job, which I thought would preclude me from the peak hour hassles- which it has done to an extent , with the pleasure of travelling in almost empty compartments in the night! I feel its a great pleasure to sit in a window seat , stretching your legs and putting you bare feet on the opposite seat, keeping your face in the beautiful breeze , listening to lilting melodies- one's got to experience it to see how good it is! Even better and a little adventurous is to stand close to the foot board soaking yourself in the wind( though its not advisable) ! These apart have been some inspiring moments on the train journeys that have lifted my spirits- I think anyone would be inspired when they see a visually impaired man producing beautiful notes on his flute/ vocals; or when they surely and steadily walk through the entire train , en training and detraining along the way , selling their wares as if they do not miss anything. They have made me realise a lot of times , how much He has given us and cribbing is not a worthy choice at all..

Hunt On!!

This is a not very interesting stage that a lot of people pass through in life for the only fault of being unadventurous and trying to be goody two shoes. I belong to the breed that missed the chance to have taken the reins in their own hands to select their own soul mates (though I am sure only a few are lucky enough to get a soul mate –as common as a young person becoming a MP without any political lineage). But at least I could have taken that chance – but this is a little thought a little too late

The search is the trickiest one faces in life, more complex than your academics, college and jobs, which are based on fewer variables with most cards in your hands to play the game! But this partner hunt is a challenging game you play with both limbs tied up, owing to the need to conform to the societal norms, which do everything else other than help the society progress. The most restricting variables happen to be the most uncompromisable- community (religion and caste, told in sugar coated way) and the horoscope.

Compromising these factors is easier said than done as things need to be done twice over- by both families- even if one family is cool about one factor, the other side plays hard! These two apart are the more essential issues like compatibility, acceptability to both families, looks (even though you are not looking for a Tamanah or a S Surya (not S J) as the case may be). But the search goes on and on (not so dissimilar to most of the sob serials on air) that you break the most important factors and criteria like compatibility and settle for a compromise

Mine has been on for about a year now! I wanted to marry the first girl that I go and see ("official sight" ing- what else is that), but unfortunately it was not to be, for reasons not within my control. One more was out on the premise that she was not very much on the look scale (those who know me - don't ask if I look like Surya?). Another was out, based on horoscope, which probably said that I might have a short half life (sorry, life), if we went ahead; there ended it- no one was daring to go further! Two others were out on based on their past( there would be so many rationalists ready to admonish me for looking at some body's past- sorry , but I looked and it did matter then and it will continue to be a factor)

The most frustrating part is when people presume and ask , that you are waiting for a very rich alliance that you can settle once for in life( that being the last thing on my mind). Anyways that's the stage now and though I am not very upset about it; it does fluster you for a moment or so! Till then i would have to believe that , I would get a good partner and have to trust the wait would be worth ! And if I don’t, I still have to be happy thinking I got into the trouble late!

The funniest part has been the licence that my dad has given me to get a girl of my choice on my own( though both of us know it wont happen). He is even telling that he gave me hints during my college days itself (probably I was dumb enough to miss them). Anyway , these things happen in life!

Only good thing in the recent past has been the news that my best buddy has got a good partner on his own (no one expected him to do that!!). I am really happy that, he has not been chicken headed to let useless things ruin his partner search. Hope she turns out to be his soul mate! All the best mate!

who says tamil movies only spoil people?

There is always a lot of talk among the parents that recent Tamil movies are one of the main reasons for taking the people and kids the wrong way; the statement though might look true on the surface is not totally so; most movies contain at least a single message which the undiscerning viewer does not pick up! and it definitely is not the fault of the filmmaker!! so I thought I will pick up those punch dialogues ( not the meaning less ones- but the meaningful ones) as and when I watch my share of movies in this piece

I will start with one of my favourites from the movie "ullam kaetkume"- a supposedly fun movie- the best part of it is in the parting speech the hero delivers on their last day at the college. he says " if anyone had only victories / successes continuously , their heads would burst with happiness and pride ; and the small losses are there to prevent that from happening" - to get the true meaning , better watch the movie as the hero talks

Today I got to watch a not so glamorous movie - "thotti jaya"-after buying a DVD sometime back. Just one statement stood out from the whole movie! not the cliched one which denounces the rowdyism! But the dialogue the heroine utters after the hero saves her from a harrowing experience- where she says what every woman looks for her in her man - "ovvoru ponnum ethir parkaruthu nambikkkayum , pathukappum thaaan"( trust and security). I just wondered how far it is from what most people think they have and they need !! I am sure that no relationship can be true without those two non compromisable factors..

More to follow!!