Nicknames II

The come the Karthiks , AK, GK and SK ; all of them called smarty in variable contexts, though the name is most associated with SK. Then follows bajji’s memsaab kavitha , called meen kaari for her voice and the noise she generates(its got nothing to do with her appearance though). Following her is kundhavi shortly called Kuvi and the lean mean guy called Malli. Then comes the big one called poppy- was he called so because he was under the influence most of the time; next to him is the small fighter called murugesn , named ninjak for his karate training in the first year. Next to this introvert comes the born extrovert , who never seemed to have a trouble in starting a conversation with anyone on anything – the Iyer as nagraj anand was called. The big boys were loaded in this batch- next came the leader of mafia- I don’t think you can have a name for the gang leader Naveen chow.

Next was my chris friend , who was called mini( short for Padmini) , but her smile was big, I guess?! Then came the guy with looks of a gentleman even in his first year; and the way he was serious about his studies earned him the title of Professor directly!! Following him was another hunk , Prashanth who didn’t feel hurt at being called a bihari! Following him is a present day colleague, who didn’t have a flattering name thanks to her “cylinder”ical appearance – sorry about the physical comment – but she now looks a lot leaner, but I guess she has lost the smile and mischief in her eyes nowadays. Then was Priyadarshini , called paatti , probably for the way she could keep on talking ( but what I hear now is she does not have much time to say even a hi to her friends!). Next come the guys who were responsible for most of these names- rajan and mahendran. Rajan could not be given any other name than EP for fear of retaliation; but mahendran was not to be spared, though he was one guy , whom you never wanted to be on the wrong side, he was called minnal (he liked it ) and also apple boy for his plump face( guess he didn’t like it much!) . Contrasting that active guy is the saintly looking ramesh , called baba. The next one, sangeeta’s was a smaller version of the name Praveena had. Next was a smart guy, one time Mr .KMC with loads of attitude , called paruppu for the same and he also had a name called rahul?

Then comes my oors selva who was called “giant” for his physical appearance and his other one was an unflattering jo___( sorry machi , enna next time pakkum pothu adikka matte nu nambaren!). Following him was his alter ego, the one and only peter of the batch ( I don’t have to give an explanation for the name!). Then comes my dearest buddy, captain – though he was called “bulb” for the surprise expression he gave always!! I am leaving out some of the unsavory and unparliamentary nicknames in order to avoid hurt; sivakasi sridevi had a name relating to her liking for tea!

Not for nothing was this guy with the post graduate degree even during his UG period –MD – though they were his initials- was called IB garu (intelligent boy). My UG and PG batch mate was called suppi/ super ja , I have skipped a word in between , I guess! Then was the golden guy thangam who was called thaadi even though he dint have a big one – another misnomer.

Following these are my real good unit mates , with whom I guess I can take liberty! To start with was vani – she had a name – kajol – running for the hairstyle with which she returned after a vacation (1st year /2^nd year- I forgot). But more common amongst us was the way she pronounced V e e r a with a drag!!(But she could have missed noticing that drag). Though it’s by me, I think I got to accept that we have that name that still sticks to us – butter boys – we still take it as a compliment, though it looks and is left handed. We had names amongst us – veer was called gundu boy by Vijay - though he looks a lot fitter after struggling without proper food in the US. I don’t remember if I had a name- everyone called me by full name – though I am more used to being called IV I school.

I pause to think if I should hold back my friend vidya’s name ; ok I think she is quite a friend now to be hurt by that- anyways we had already told her the name we had when there was a thaw in our tom and jerry relation , towards the end of the internship! When we told the name – psych- for her scooting during the internship – she was actually relieved to hear that! She was expecting something very bad from us , without realizing the nice guys within us!! Vijay was variously called vichu mama and chalak chalak for the way he restlessly moved his legs during sleep! Vishranthi was always nice to me , so I never used a nickname for her. Dear vivek was called EV – standing for editor vivek – not elicha vaayan as is the common belief

That sums it up! This has taken a Sunday afternoon and evening; but its been worth going down the memory lane for me (sorry couldn’t avoid the cliché)

Apologies to anyone if at all they read and get hurt and promises to remove the offensive segments

dr. know none

Please don’t think this is about a quack or someone who finished his medical degree in a far off land with nothing but a stylish name to boast off or about someone who did his MBBS for such along time, that his son would be of the same age as his study duration!! Nor is it about someone so senile with severe cognitive impairment! It is about a not so young radiologist in his late twenties, who interned out of a reasonable medical college and postgraduate institute and his travails!

Problems come in various forms for a radiologist. Lots of case than one can handle, continuous inflow of sick and trauma patients, having to talk to referring consultants in between and emergency ultrasounds when ones hands are already full are the possible scenarios that can crack you up! All these are inescapable situations for a radiologist; but one thing that is avoidable, but problematic is the situation when the patients insist on talking to you. Though I feel that every radiologist has a duty in explaining to the patients, the test of the results, at least if the patients insist. But I most of the times , avoid directly dealing with patients, as when you try to explain medical problems in lay mans language , there definitely is a chance for inappropriate perception of the problem by the patients. But there are some persistent patients who wont take no for an answer!

One such north Indian gentle man had come to collect his MR report I had reported the previous day. Being busy that evening, I was in no mood to spare my time. But the Hindi speaking people, quite persistent as they are a lot of times, got in saying he will only take a couple of minutes. He had diffuse disc bulges at a couple of levels; I just told him that and expected him to leave hearing that . But he wanted me to explain the management and in spite of my reluctance to do so , he just kept trying to pull some words out of my mouth. I just told him that it could be either conservative or surgical and most of the time doctors try conservative treatment before resorting to surgical options. But the gentle man- I don’t know whom he wanted to stump – me or the orthopedician- seems to have told the ortho doctor straightaway that he had discussed his problem with the radiologist (my name specifically) and that he did not need any surgery . The doctor who had probably put him in his list as a prospective surgical candidate was pretty annoyed that he sent a message to my MD, asking him to restrain his radiologists from talking to his patients. Though my MD didn’t say anything directly to me, I got the message through someone!

I felt done in by both the patient and the referring doctor – both were not courteous enough to me- the doctor at least could have sorted out the matter with me! But these things keep happening and you don’t expect any decency and courtesy from those who rob their patients while sending for investigation (what else would I call those who get more than half of the cost of tests as referral charges. After a small wave of frustration and anger , I resigned to my fate and thought that the best way to respond is to act like Dr. know none , asking the patients to talk with their referring doctors , who know what is best for their patients (more so for their own pockets)

God save the patients from a lot of these money hungry crocs( sorry docs)!!

(K)n(o)ick names

These days I am getting frequent mental snapshots of my days in college ( a la Cherans 's "autograph" sans the love stories , which anyway was not there originally too!). I don't know where to begin but after a little thought, I felt just trying to recollect the nicknames of my batch mates would be a good start

Going by alphabetical order would be easier for me as I am sitting with the batch book in hand; I have lost count of how many times I have had this book in hand since finishing, probably I have kept it most safely and used it the most too; a lot of times it has lifted my moods (which go down as frequently as the speed (back) breakers on any Chennai road!)

Starts with Aarti Mani, who was called Miss KMC (it wasn’t a nickname exactly as it was the title she held as firmly as possible- almost like Nadal and French open. Beside she was called maami, perhaps, other than being part of the Mafia gang (nothing criminal as such). Then comes Abdul, called Style bhai, probably for the way he walked and rode his bike. Next is Ajay , who joined the college with a baby face and was short and rotund enough to be called thakkali- but the guy grew well during the years and now you wont believe , he is almost Maddy like- tall and fit , becoming the most eligible bachelor as on date!( take my word for that as he is my colleague now) . Am excluding the people in between who were too nice and never had a nick name that I knew! Anu Sowmya , true to her nature was called padips and a maami! Of a number of anuradhas in our batch, I remember two being called by their initials D and J – that was the easy. I had a problem in the initial few days with those names- a senior asked me to tell the names of five girls – me answering without hesitation, four anuradhas and two sujathas – only to escape a slap by a whisker!

Then comes the lady who is the first and the only reader of this blog- so I am avoiding giving her name for fear of getting into her bad books and losing my readership( if I can call it that)!!!! Though I was not a first hand witness to his famous dialogue during a batch trip , the first thing that comes to my mind about Arun kamal is his line “simply superb”( a good pick up line?!) Then is a very nice soft spoken guy who was unfairly called beat boy (adiyal), only depicting his false exterior; I am sure that was a misnomer.

CRK bajji as his wife calls him was called with equal frequency as kattai (Chinna / periya – I forgot- chinna kattai , I guess) - He along with gowtham were called as woodies, similar to the famous Australian male doubles tennis players. Chenduran for some reason was called mama (probably because it was the commonest word from his mouth!) I guess his standout moment was when he ran to the hostel at the night to call for help, when his mates were facing their own Armageddon, while watching the movie by the same name in Ega. Then comes the player – how did the name stick to him- because I don’t remember him playing any games! But our name for him was kaelvi kanai (weapon of questions), he would launch a100 questions about anything – so inquisitive was he – and would readily get angry when pointed out; but now he is a really changed and mature man. GD was called bun, probably because she was white like maida and then came RD who is now doing DMRD!

I am leaving out people whom I don’t know much and who m I presume might be offended! Then is the Mr. Nice guy of the batch , only one bold enough to take internal medicine in India( if I don’t say this Vani will be offended) was called athlete / kulfi- athlete for his sudden interest in jogging on a cold morning during a batch trip!. Then comes a guy whom I admire a lot for his confidence and steel, but was fittingly called Kadi mannan –with nothing to dispute. Next is the hyperactive gopi called ditch for his ability for flattery of the highest possible degree and machi for the commonest word out of his mouth

Next are the two main members of the G gang- gowtham – perya kattai, though he was smaller than bajji and guna, called Kozhi – probably because he had a bad laryngitis for sometime? Then was the guy with such cool nonchalance (Vaiz) that he was named casual and it stuck on! Then come the two unlikely close friends – Jona (aptly called kuzhandai for he retained his innocence for a long time) and kathiravan, called by the tamil equivalent for porridge –I don’t want to go behind the explanation. I think I got to end this piece with the tomboy and one of the bubbliest characters , kanchana ( called kanch) ,a member of the M family { comprising reddy , ditch, prabakar, vaiz and her}- called so as three of their members were jumping all over the place initially

Sorry if I have offended anyone, but I will still complete the piece in the second half!!

how we change?

"Change is the only constant in life"-I never realised how true this statement was when i read it the first time. Just going back the last 12 years in my life, i am surprised at how much I changed; or have I ? - there are still certain instances when I suspect that!

Where do I start from ? OK let me start with my high school; though I had done my entire schooling in coed environment , I never had a decent conversation with any of my class girls. i think it was basically because I was shy and introvert by nature and it was considered a virtue not to be talking with members of other sex. Surprisingly , though I went to a medical college with the most healthy sex ratio ( 60 girls to 40 guys), I don't think I changed much. My inability to converse / ability to avoid conversations only kept improving ( if I can call it so) . Having a set of friends who more or less had similar thoughts/ behaviour did not help much either- and we even got a name for that.I did not realise it was wrong then too , as it was never an intention to avoid being courteous. But there could have been people , who thought we were dumb / uncourteous - especially our unit mates- as the rest of the units were very social. Anyways , we wanted to focus on what we went to the college for and moreover , we always ( four of us) had a great time amongst us , that we never missed anything!! And primary reason was that I never wanted to be linked to anyone!( that was the commonest way, someone could have a dig at their batchmates- i somehow took that very seriously then - but now it seems so funny!! ) Recently too a couple of unit mates said , they never felt like they could ever strike a decent conversation with any of us- this was what they said on face now- don't want to think about the adjectives they would have used then. Things improved a bit as internship progressed, we would have some duty related talk; and you know what- a lot of times it ended in altercation. And one of my unit mates had cried once during the internship - she had even complained to her mom about us- and even after two years when we had a rendezvous on the net , she was pretty correct in calling the relation we shared was more like"tom and Jerry". But i begged to differ as there was no real resentful feeling / physical hurt as in the cartoon. And finally when the internship ended and we all parted ways , probably to never meet again, we never had any grudge against anyone

I still don't know when and why , i felt and wanted to become more friendly with my batch mates. Probably things changed after I got into a good residency and settled down- I had less pressure to do things and was able to concentrate on social part of life- don't just come to a conclusion that I just became a party animal and had a great life in the 'land of booze'( what else would I call Pondicherry, where u don't get to see a stretch of ten shops without a bright lit wine shop). I still did not change much there as I have just one good female friend from three years there . And may be the culture at my post graduate institute also helped me in thawing a bit of shell and i think its there I became a bit comfortable with my old friends

Down ten years , I think anyway my life has come a small circle at least (not the full circle as they usually say!) .I am quite friends with the lady who called our relation - tom and Jerryish( still i need to ask her clear the air about who was what) . And a girl from a distant unit ( yeah A batch is far from E batch) - who probably might not have seen even my face properly during the five short years( I never felt it was long) , is on the way to becoming my best friend of the opposite gender. And I have talked to a lot of friends during the last couple of years , more than ever I talked to them during the entire six years. The last reason could be the most important - may be my profession has given me the ability to view life in a better perspective

And one thing I remember from the whole of my first year in the medical school happened on the day I joined - Its what an anatomy professor told me ,as I was a little unsure about continuing the course after paying the fees- apart from the usual "medicine is a great profession", that this is the "only place where you will get friends for life"

I don't know if that had a bearing on me at that time , it seems to be one of the standout lines , I heard and I am finding it true. And I now know i have changed for the better in my relations with my batch mates and hope this change remains a constant throughout!!

them again!!

Sorry about my dog fixation that u guys think i have; ( sorry , it should have been singular , for there has been a solitary victim- my friend -for this blog ,so far)  but it actually is the phobia about them and their involvement in my life that makes me keep poking at them again. hope the PETA guys dont take a serious view of my anti dog blogs  and come home and do something nasty as they always they do with alarming frequency (yeah ! i mean the public stripping/ exhibitionism they indulge in to advance their pro animal ideas  - i wonder how on earth is their baring all , help animals)

As i had already mentioned in my previous blog, there was another dog phobic neighbour , who carried a metre long stick on his scooter to ward off his canine enemies on the way. But one fine day, there was a sudden turnaround for us all to see; in that he had brought home a stray dog to bring up as his pet. If that was difficult for us to believe, he not only brought him up as a pet; he started treating him as a son ( inspite of having three grown up adult children- whom he tended to as a mom would do- as his wife is one person , whom i have never seen do any household chores).  The days when he - tommy , i guess was his name- was bathed would be  a special show for all of us. The excited dog would run the entire street and try to chase down any stray dog in its sight; pulling his master along. And after they manage to rein him in , he would be given a big red tilak on his forehead;bigger than  the ones temple bound  ladies have on a friday. I regret not having a digicam at that time  to record that.

But our problem was not with his make up / dressing sense; but with the fact that he was barking at every passing four legged sructure from the portico of their first floor house. the location being to reinforce the fact athat there was no way he could be affected by those creatures. But his master was so protective of his son ( we all thought he treated him like one- such was his public show of affection) and stones will keep flowing from the first floor balcony every time tom would bark, for whatever reason!! And we , my dad and I ,have been at the receiving end of a couple of stones- which flew close to our unprotected heads like a Brett Lee beamer!!. We have got mad those moments thinking how people behave so foolishly giving more importance to pets than  humans. I even had a thought of returning the beamer bowled, but the fact that i was a doctor and had to behave within the norms , prevented me from returning the rubbish act

The second issue with tommy was even dirtier; everytime his master brought him out to lhelp him relieve himself , he would unfailingly choose our compond pillar for a shower. I am sure this is a nasty thing about the dog owners; they never let their pets do it to their  compounds!! Tommy was not an isolated case in this, as there were a couple of other DOs who would let their dogs answer their nature's calls , in  front of our house- thereby being the receivers of the first round of swearing from my father- he had a right point there because no one likes to step out of their house into s--t.! 

Fortunately there was no face to face altercations with our neighbours just for the fact that they were our neighbours , but as dog owners they need to show a lot of sensitivity to humans. I am also sure that PETA guys should devote atleast a percent to educate the pet owners to be more responsible than keep cribbing about impractical things ( which would definitely alter the eco balance) and doing strip shows ( which are definitely not going to change anyone!!- may be people will keep doing things to see them do their dirty act!!)

That our neighbor was so affected by tommy' s death , made him not to go for another dog and that saved our heads from his throws!! Hope he never gets another dog for his life ; but now there' s another neighbour who has set some 10 -12 felines on the prowl in the streets ; Oh god when are these guys goin to  change?!!

jo(C)ke(Y)rs

This gap of a few days has been to provide some respite to the only follwer of this blog ( my dear friend ) from my vocabulary assault. Other reason being that my sulci and gyri damaged by medical and radiology literature, however less, does not have the same ability to think and write as other fresh creative brains

It is very common to see lots of people who travel by trains these days , with ear phones, listening to music on their way to/ from work. There are some people who might even forget their wallets but not their mobiles / earphones. Most of them, sure are listening to the multiple FM radios broadcasting in chennai, though there are some smart ones who know what they want to hear and listen to the songs in their own memory card

But whats being played in those stations need to be heard to know , what extent the human brains can go in search for something they think of as entertainment.There are lots of progarms and presentation that are very stereotypical with not much of relief, with the worst reserved especially for the afternoons and the evenings! Mornings are a lot better with devotional songs to start with and news based info to save the peak mormning hours till 10. even the forenoon programs are OK; being primarily women centered. Real trouble for us starts in the afternoon, when you have got the most ingenious of the pack , who can motor mouth for a long time about nothing. That breed can keep talking under the sun , however silly that is. Most funny are the questions that are asked for the listeners who have to phone in to answer them/ register their views. Questions and topics could range from , funny to ridiculous to absurd; samples being like " what will happen if monday comes before sunday"; discussing pet names that you have for your spouses/ personal secrets that none other than the couple would ever know;"whats the best place to propose". What surprises me more is that there is never a dearth of callers for even the worst possible question , which makes me ponder if the callers are all in house employees of the FM stations . If they speak so sweetly and with such joy to their spouse / kids/ relatives , I cant stop wondering how peaceful the families will be. I am not sure what gives them great joy- hearing their voices on air or talking to the hosts.

Less said about the contests that run on air , the better; it never tests anything other than luck . I am not sure if all those contests are real at all!! And the new menace that has been born in the last few months has been that of CJ (not the glamorous girlfriend of Billa in the movie by the same name) - its what they call as cricket jockey. This breed was born during the IPL, when two guys kept some nonsense going in the form of commentary; yet i did not have another choice to keep track of the scores while on my way back home. Otherwise nights are the best time to put your ear phones on, when all the stations play ilayaraja songs ( and others of that period ) - thats the time also when words are less and music is more

However , i dont have a choice other than to push my ear phones into the slot , when on the move , atleast for the beautiful songs that keep playing and for some of the really interesting and useful programmes(remember, i am not saying everything is bad) .

Hope ther are lots of useful and interesting programmes sans the cliched rubbish chats, with a great mix of music; then i am sure at least half of chennai would be hard of hearing ( FM radio induced), in a few years time, making it a great opportunity for the otorhinolaryngologists(this is nothing but an ENT specialist). See , i told u know , medical literature really taxes your brain unnecessarily with such big words for simple things. So i request the readers (?) of this blog to excuse my medical litt injured brain, if they felt stupid reading this!!

Do they own the roads?

This is the question that rings in my mind and probably most others who use the roads, both in the cities and suburbs, especially in the nights . What  do you think  i am talking about- thieves,  totally drunk kudi magans  , speeding  cars , formless/ gory  ghosts . though all these are potentially fearsome , there is  something else that's a more common frightener for me

 

Sure , u will find it difficult to identify if you have not been on the roads especially after ten on the roads. It is the one touted the man' s best friend , a lot of times- but i  beg to differ about that (as i always  have). Yeah i am talking about the dogs ( but they look like jackals on the prowl during  the night).  Being animal phobic has not helped me any better

 

Am not even as worried to cross the unsignalled main roads in the city at eleven/ travelling in poorly inhabited night trains , as I am about travelling the last 2 kilometres from the the station to my home. the couple of kilometres is mostly a main road with a lot of side roads along it . that distance is inhabited by at least a dozen packs of stray dogs. They come in various hues from the dark black  to white with brown and cream too , but it  does not matter as their bites would leave not so dissimilar marks with morbid and mortal complications.

The problem with them is that you never know when you will be attacked by them. You never take them for granted  even if they appear to be enjoying their sleep ; they could just pounce on you thinking you could run them over. Worst possible scenarios are your crossing their routes when they are in the middle of their territorial fight or an orgy ( which primarily is the cause for their burgeoning numbers - Blue  cross ! are you listening). You are definitely bound to suffer collateral damage ; when you happen to be in the middle of their quarrel.Your escape depends on how your adrenaline acts  to produce  fright / flight / fight response, anyways all three of them are going to get you some wounds if they are in a bad mood. My advice is not to try the flight response;because its tough to evade their teeth  unless you do  an Usain Bolt ( that should be enough unless  you you have another hungry pack in the next territory). Remember the world's fastest man Usain Bolt is at least 50 to 100% faster than  humans with subnormal sedentary lives as yours truly. Fighting is not a good option unless you have a weapon ( at least 3-4 stones / two feet stick).I have seen a neighbour carrying a three feet stick in his scooter for his canine enemies ( that he got a pet dog himself and treated him like his son is  a different matter altogether.  but my dad still maintains a good shout is more than enough most of the times and he says he uses it prophylactically even  before crossing. I too have done that a couple of times , but it has been shouts of fear than frightener!!

And one other unnerving memory would be the way they chase the hapless hen and pigs during the days. There have been instances when I have just avoided head on collisions with them at corner of the streets when they blindly charge during their fights. And lastly about the one blackie that always sits on the compound wall of a house. I don’t pass the route every day without the fear of it pawing and scratching my face

But still I go through the route as I don’t have a choice, praying nothing happens. To part with I am sure , the government should do something to alleviate the stray dog menace!! Otherwise lots of people will have similar thoughts as mine “Do they own the roads? “. Hope and pray the Blue Cross guys behave much more responsibly and treat humans, at least as equals to the animals and not take cudgels against what needs to be done.